I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I have a feeling some of you might understand exactly what I’m talking about.
When I was in high school, everyone seemed to think they knew how my life was going to turn out. Honestly…so did I.
I was the head cheerleader. I dated the football captain. I was involved in just about everything, and I always imagined I’d be one of those girls who graduated, got married, started a family, and spent my days making a beautiful home.
That picture felt so clear in my mind.
Sometimes it still does.
Now I’m twenty-six, living in Southern California with Jake and our two spoiled pups, Missy and Boom, and while I have so much to be grateful for, life hasn’t unfolded quite the way I expected.
Don’t get me wrong—I love Jake with my whole heart. He’s thoughtful, funny, incredibly disciplined, and somehow manages to juggle bodybuilding, party planning, and veganism all at once. If you’d asked seventeen-year-old me what my future husband would be like, I don’t think I would’ve described him quite that way. God definitely has a sense of humor sometimes.
Still…
Every Christmas.
Every anniversary.
Every birthday.
There’s always that tiny little part of me that wonders if this will finally be the day.
I don’t think that’s a bad thing to hope for.
I’ve always believed Heavenly Father placed the desire to become a wife and mother on my heart for a reason. I don’t see those dreams as something I’m chasing—I see them as something I’m preparing for.
That’s why I’ve been learning to bake from scratch, collecting recipes, reading everything I can about homemaking, pinning ideas for my future garden, and dreaming about the little homestead I hope we’ll have someday. I may not have the farmhouse yet, but I can become the kind of woman who’ll fill it with love.
Sometimes, though, I’ll be scrolling through social media and another engagement announcement pops up.
Another baby.
Another family photo.
Another couple moving into their forever home.
And if I’m being honest…it can be hard not to wonder why my season looks different.
I have to remind myself that comparison isn’t where peace comes from.
Purpose comes from becoming the woman Heavenly Father is calling me to be, even if I don’t understand His timing yet.
Maybe that’s what this season is really about.
Not waiting.
Preparing.
Preparing my heart.
Preparing my home.
Preparing myself for the life I’ve been praying for ever since I was a little girl pretending my bedroom was a farmhouse kitchen.
I still believe that life is out there.
Maybe not on the exact timeline I imagined.
But I trust that if Heavenly Father placed those dreams in my heart, He’s also preparing me to receive them when the time is right.
Until then, I’ll keep baking the bread.
Saving the recipes.
Dreaming about chickens.
And believing that every small step I take today is helping me become the wife, mother, and homemaker I’ve always known I was meant to be.
XOXO,
Lissa